My urge to pee was rather strong at this point. We had sat through two hours of our three-hour-long class, and prior to that class, I had guzzled down a Nalgene full of water. Not the brightest of ideas, but I was thirsty. So, we finally reach break time, during which I planned to mingle with others in the gallery and then head to the bathroom, in no particular order. I moseyed on downstairs, saw some people, and stopped and said hello. It wasn't until a few minutes later that I finally got a chance to go to the bathroom. It's a small bathroom, consisting of two stalls. One was occupied, so I obviously used the empty one.
Now this is where things take a turn for the most awkward. I have encountered this situation a few times before, inexplicably so. This is the time gap between the moment you pull your pants down and sit on the toilet seat, to the time that you actually begin to urinate. That gap, filled only by silence, to me, is one of the most painfully awkward moments. And since there is only one other person there, it's either you or her that is going to break that silence. Otherwise, you're just two strangers sitting in a dead quiet room with your pants at your ankles.
This irked me so much because I'm not one to get bladder shy, but something just wouldn't let me go, even though I urgently had to. It wasn't like the other girl was doing anything either, so there wasn't any reason to really be embarrassed. Usually I'm not. I mean, I wasn't at that time either. Pee hitting water sounds the same no matter what. It's not a particularly weird sound, not unless you're farting throughout the whole time. It just became more of an annoyance than anything else. I pushed, squirmed, did anything that would help expedite the process. Not one trickle, not even the itch of needing to pee was present. This is ridiculous, I thought to myself.
At this point, the other girl pulls up her pants and flushes. I hadn't heard any liquid hit liquid. It must have been a more solid type of waste she deposited. The only reason I find that worthy of note is because there are many more people who find that action more difficult in a public facility. I am amongst the majority prefer to abstain from doing so. More importantly, at this moment, I was excited about the prospect of being alone in the bathroom. A solitary few seconds awaited me, during which I could freely pee! Hurray! I hear her wash her hands, ever so slowly, wipe them dry and finally head toward the door. I see the light from outside the bathroom. I can't wait. The door shuts.
Her feet, still visible from where I'm sitting, walk away from the door towards the sink. No! Why hadn't she left?! What could she have possibly forgotten to do? Pick a wedgie, pick her nose, fix her bra? I don't know, but all of those things could've been accomplished outside of the bathroom and done discreetly. For the love of god, just leave. I was running out of time, and break was almost over. So I'm still silently sitting there. She probably thinks I'm constipated as all Hell, and all I want is three seconds to myself to pee.
Two minutes, or so, go by and she finally leaves the bathroom. I tactfully wait a few more seconds to make sure that she had, in fact, exited the bathroom. She had! Let the peeing begin. Of course, after all the anticipation and waiting, there was little to show for my excitement of being able to pee. A few quick drips, and I was done. But, despite that, was that not the most awful experience?! No. It wasn't. It doesn't quite rival being beaten to a bloody pulp with a 2x4, nor does it rival the pain and suffering from gonorrhea. I suppose it was only mildly uncomfortable. Hmmm. Uncomfortable, nonetheless, and I'd prefer not to go through it again. Think what you will about the triviality of the incident, but the next time you're stuck in a two-stall bathroom, unable to pee for what seems like an eternity, remember this. Then we can talk.
No comments:
Post a Comment